Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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