I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
where am i from again
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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