I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
