You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
