girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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