Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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