The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I take back everything I said about communal showers
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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