She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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