My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
