A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
