youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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