yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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