I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
