It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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