I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
where are my eyebrows?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
