Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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