im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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