I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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