1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
