He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
