marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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