last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
