I want to stick my p in your. b.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
