just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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