sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
