Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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