her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
