she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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