so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
