Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
