I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
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