And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
