So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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