just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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