I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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