I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you didnt know i had herpes?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Randomize
