Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
