She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
