I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
This house was built for laser tag.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just want to make out with him forever
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
