Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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