somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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