my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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