I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
