That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
