No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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