Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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