those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
