I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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