Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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