He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize