So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
