well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
