Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize