At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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