i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
